i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
