I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
