69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
