hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the condom got lost in my hair
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Help. Why am I so naked?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
