HIV tests are more positive than that guy
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
