i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
