You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
