Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
