The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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