Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
handjob tips. give me some.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
