no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
