Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
