is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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