A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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