the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
