Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
