Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
