There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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