so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
