you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
