You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
