I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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