Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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