There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
