i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
