and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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