At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
