Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
