And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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