I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
