I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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