U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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