My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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