Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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