I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
