apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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