I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
