I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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