I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
