1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
