1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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