I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
