Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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