So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
