I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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