Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
