Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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