hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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