I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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