your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
